That new life
Approaching 30 is a weird stale unsettling experience.
The period in between 20 and 30 had been long enough stretch of (more or less) emotionally stable landscape without any major world-shaking growing up experiences and events, unlike let's say the time between when you are 10 and 20.
And a human spirit, still very much young and ready to take over the world, is weirded out by the stability and slow pace of changes and challenges.
Life gets easier in a way. Facing the life events becomes less of a task. And in that quiet slow waters of turning thirty, we experience pining for something untangible - we wish it could be an unexpected U-turn throwing us onto an adventurous path of travelling the world, but the older you get, the more unlikely you abandon the little stability you have achieved.
So the next logical step would be a family.
That is a big enough change to the rythm of life, gargantuan challenge and an ultimate answer (at least for a while) to the questions of meaning and purpose. But in my case, as I'm not bothered by hormones and biological clock, the sine qua non of a family is love /boooo I know/ and a relationship solid enough to sustain this extension of human experience...
So it seems for some time at least, I'm stuck in the dead calm of my own little sea. And it feels a little too long and a little too hedonistic and a little too uncharted and chaotic as there are no rules, no restrictions, no guidelines and no real challenges on the horizon.
And that my friends is what thirty feels like.
P.S.: But than there's the freedom to have cocktails 10am in the bath, just because you're an adult now and because you CAN.