Waking up in France (contrary to common belief) does not smell of fresh croissants and sound like Jacques Brel played on a vinyl record.

For me, today, it rather smells of fear & trembling - as I'm using your parents pen to write this (on top of showing up here with the 'electric blue' hair), wearing a funky 90s t-shirt I dread your parents will silently deem too funky. But is anyone anywhere on this planet really and truly relaxed around their parents-in-law?

So, let's focus on the positives. The good things about this trip are:

• Just sitting with your parents, all of us reading books and topping up coffee from that fickle little machine in your kitchen
• Seeing your friend Leaticia, the Mother of dragons - except instead of three dragons she's got three totally mental cats - one of them I suspect to be a baby jaguar. Welcome to Wakanda!
• Your sister Mimi, obvi.
• Our plane didn't fall, which - if you know me - is always a real worry
• The fact you guys here in France call cherry tomatoes 'cœur-de-pigeon'. Pigeon hearts!  You sick fucks!
• And the absolute best - finding your first skateboard that (I am VERY SORRY to share this publicly) has 'SAUSAGE BOY' written on it.

But mainly just sharing this chapter with you. Just sitting in the uncomfortableness & sadness of it all, just simply becoming a part of this moment in your life, making it a moment that's also OURS.

This is our last morning. I'm sitting under a birch tree in your parent's garden journaling away, whilst you try to manipulate the pauvre moi into doing some pull-ups using your new gymnastic rings. (I know I'll give in eventually and I hate it.) The sun is baking, your dad just came from fishing (the Poitiers version of mindfulness meditation), mum possibly still binging on 'How to Get Away with Murder'.

I love how all 'the kids' (one of whom is 33) sneakily, adventure-game-style smoke MARIHUANA! hidden in the cellar away from your mum's watchful eye - how cute is that? Now that I think about it, she does have lots in common with Annalise Keating from her fav tv show - loving and formidable, trying to deal with & protect a bunch of immature trouble-makers. That show is about her! Minus the murders. Although who knows? If we keep speaking during her watching 'How to Get Away with Murder' – that might change rapidly!!!