Instruction Manual for the week in astrology ushering the Neptune's+this weird year's finale
“I used to walk down the street like I was a fucking star... I want people to walk around delusional about how great they can be - and then to fight so hard for it every day that the lie becomes the truth.” – Lady Gaga
I was trying to meditate the other morning..you know, trying to be a “good spiritual person” amidst the absolute dumpster fire that is the current geopolitical landscape, but whilst scrolling on YouTube trying to find the right length meditation for my busy morning, I wasted all the time I had to actually meditate. Plus I managed to unlock a new fear when YouTube showed me what erythema ab igne is (no, it’s not Harry Potter spell and I am really sorry to pass on the curse like this, but you will google it and you will be mortified) and now I can’t sleep on top of my heated blanket ever again.
And that is in a nutshell exactly the vibe of this week. It’s a restless go go go energy thwarted from every possible angle. Dealing currently with the chaotic, fiery “hold my beer” energy of Sagittarius and the whole of fuck, it’s the end of 2025, a year that has felt like being tumbled in a dryer with a bag of rocks, so let’s see what last minute plot twists can we still gleefully inject into that already utterly insane narrative.
Astrologically, we are in a weird limbo. We have Mars in Sagittarius (the urge to run, scream, book a one-way ticket to Bali..I know actually someone who did just that and you know what, fucking good for them!) squaring off against Saturn in Pisces (the cosmic principal telling you that you have detention and also your visa was denied). It feels like your mother-in-law showing up unannounced just as you’re trying to leave for a date. It feels like typing out a furious 10-paragraph text message and then your battery dying right before you hit send.
Aaand there’s more! Neptune is stationing direct this week. And not just anywhere. It’s waking up at the 29th degree of Pisces. The degree of fate. The end of the line. Neptune has been marinating in Pisces since 2011, dissolving our boundaries and making us all a little bit psychic and a lot bit delusional. The absolutely disastrous social media experiment that ruined a whole generation belongs here. The everyone is a YouTube star, everyone gets a platform and following, my life aspiration is to become an Influencer and online conspiracy QAnon bullshit lives here too. But hey, the end is in sight. Better get ready for a completely new shift in our collective paradigm because as Neptune prepares to leave this sign early next year, this week feels like the final, foggy exam.
The veil isn’t just thin..it’s full on being ripped down like that shower curtain in Psycho. On a global stage, this looks like secrets being revealed, massive water-related news (literal floods or emotional ones, also the Americans murdering people on the sea left and right falls right in here) and a collective realization that the “truth” we’ve been fed might just be high-budget fiction. The files can no longer stay hidden.
The world-shaking, ground-breaking disclosures fully belong to the last twitches of Neptune going direct in Pisces.
On a personal level we’re taking a spiritual detox. It’s realizing that the “dream job” is actually a nightmare, that the person you put on a pedestal is just a guy named Brian who never cuts his toe nails or a conman called Donald who used your retirement money to buy himself a golf course with and a Supreme Court. Yes, I’m a liberal left lunatic..at least by the US Neptune in Pisces collective psychosis definition.
But don’t worry, the hysterical chronic game of labels that has been started under this transit is also coming to a close. Soon, the only label that might feel relevant is again just being a human trying to survive in a world that is fully designed to crush you to dust. And how fucking liberating does that sound in 2025!
So, how do we survive this? This week, we get cozy with the discomfort. We lean into the absurdity. We accept that this week is not about “efficiency” or “success” in the capitalist sense. It’s about resilience.
It’s about sitting in the mud and deciding to build a castle out of it.
If you feel blocked this week, good. You’re supposed to be. The universe is protecting you from your own impulse control issues. Take a breath. Scream into a pillow. Then, keep walking.
💀 A Day-by-Day Survival Guide to the Madness
(UTC +01:00)
Depending on where you are in the world, you might feel certain transits slightly earlier or later. Time zones have opinions too.
🦁 Monday, Dec 8: The Ego Has Landed (Hard)
The week opens with the Moon in Leo opposing Pluto in Aquarius. This is Main Character Syndrome meeting a Reality Check. You wake up wanting to be adored and fed grapes by a lover. So, you post a selfie. And wait for validation. But Pluto in Aquarius is staring back from across the zodiac making sure you understand you are but a speck of dust in the infinite void of the collective.
It’s an emotional power struggle. You might get into a fight with a group of friends who think you’re being “too much”, crushed by the weight of societal expectations.
The Truth Serum: Your ego is not your enemy, but it is a toddler. Give it a snack, but don’t let it drive the car. If you feel ignored today, don’t start a scene. Go watch a movie where things explode. It helps.
🛑 Tuesday, Dec 9: The Planetary Speed Bump
Here it is. Mars in Sagittarius square Saturn in Pisces. This is the defining transit of the week. Mars wants to go fast. Saturn says stop. This manifests as double capital F..a Fucking Frustration. Pure, unadulterated annoyance.
My husband is French. They call speed bumps “donkey’s back” (dos d’âne) over there in France. And how fitting... because this Mars-Saturn square acts like a great, humbling dos d’âne, forcing our forward momentum to slow down and endure a significant test of patience. Do you know how incredibly stubborn and hard to move a donkey gets when it decides the path ahead is no longer safe or worth the effort?
This is you finally getting the motivation to go to the gym, only to find your car has a flat tire. This is you pitching a brilliant idea to your boss and mustering courage to ask for a promotion and them telling you “actually, this is kind of awkward, but HR should have told you this morning…we’re letting you go”..
This is also everyone’s favourite bureaucratic hell. Forms, red tape, rules that make no sense.
The Truth Serum: Do not push against the wall. Today, the wall will win. If you hit a block today, take it as a sign to wait. Saturn isn’t saying “fuck off, no”, he’s saying “not yet, and definitely not like that.” Cry about it a little. And then go and use this energy to do the boring, hard work you’ve been avoiding. Clean the back of your fucking fridge and dare yourself to not stop halfway through.
⚡ Wednesday, Dec 10: The Nauseating Truth Behind the Fog
A double whammy. Neptune goes direct (at the critical 29th degree of Pisces) AND Mercury in Scorpio opposes Uranus in Taurus. Neptune stationing is like waking up from anesthesia. Btw, here is a terrifying fact for you: did you know that although we know how to use anesthesia to switch you off during the surgery, NOBODY actually knows WHY it works and what exactly happens to consciousness during it?So, just like that everything is blurry, you’re emotional and might confess your undying love to your cat, who cares very little about hearing it.
Meanwhile, Mercury (mind) vs. Uranus (shock) creates mental lightning. We might receive shocking news, have a sudden epiphany, the internet might break. Your nervous system is fried. Again. Great.
The Truth Serum: Do not believe everything you think today. Definitely, do not believe everything you read today (haha, as if anyone still gets their information about the world from reading). Even if your intuition is high (Neptune), remember your brain is a transmitter hit by lightning (Uranus). Short circuiting. But do write down your “genius ideas” but for the love of gods, wait 24 hours before posting them.
🏹 Thursday, Dec 11: The Whistleblower Enters the Chat
The Moon moves into picky Virgo trying to clean up the mess, but Mercury enters Sagittarius. Mercury in Scorpio was a detective. Think Kate Winslet in Mare of Easttown methodically gathering evidence in a small, messy town. Now, Mercury in Sagittarius is a viral tweet storm with a megaphone and zero fact-checking skills. We go from “I suspect...” to “I KNOW THE TRUTH AND EVERYONE MUST HEAR IT!”
This shift, particularly after the restricting Mars-Saturn square, is the moment the whistleblower, finally fed up, walks out of the woods and onto the national stage, live-streaming the documents. You will have the urge to preach. To debate. You’ll want to tell your aunt why her political views are garbage. Combined with the critical Virgo Moon, this is the energy of “Well, actually...” And I’m here to tell you: Well, actually don’t!
The Truth Serum: You are probably right, but you are also probably being annoying. Use this energy to learn, to read, to expand your mind. Do not use it to destroy your relationships over a dinner table debate. You have Christmas for that.
🥴 Friday, Dec 12: The Perfectionist Panics
The Moon in Virgo activates a T-Square with Neptune/Saturn and Mars. Basically, everyone is stressed, confused, and tired. This is the day you try to organize your life and end up crying on the kitchen floor because you can’t find the right Tupperware lid. Real story. My story.
This is pure, chaotic brain fog set to a soundtrack of self-criticism. Every small, organizational task from folding laundry to responding to emails feels like climbing Mount Everest without oxygen. The friction between Mars (doing) and Saturn (limit) is totally muddied by Neptune’s confusing influence, meaning you have energy for action, but no clear target.
You might feel a crushing guilt for not being productive, even though the energy of the day is fundamentally anti-productive. Resist the urge to fix it all in one go - you are pouring water into a sieve. Pour wine instead.
The Truth Serum: Lower the bar. Lower it all the way to the floor. Then step over it. If you get through today without quitting your job or shaving your head, you win!
🕵️ Saturday, Dec 13: The Unpacking
Mercury in Sagittarius sextile Pluto in Aquarius. Finally, a useful aspect! This is detective energy but with a purpose. You can see the truth clearly now. The shocks from Wednesday make sense. You can have a profound, transformative conversation. You can solve a mystery. This is excellent for research, for figuring out why you keep dating the same emotional vampire in different trainers.
The fog of Friday lifts, and the philosophical fire of Mercury in Sagittarius hooks up with the penetrating X-ray vision of Pluto. If Mercury in Scorpio was just finding the secret, this is understanding the secret’s deep, generational impact. It’s not surface-level bullshit information you scroll by two minutes later. This is that faithful aha moment that changes everything.
Use this aspect to follow a rabbit hole to the absolute end. If you are having a difficult conversation, that’s great - you see! People are still capable of those! The difficulty is important here, this aspect grants you the ability to speak brutal truths without completely burning the bridge, because the communication is focused on growth and liberation.
The Truth Serum: Dig deep. Ask the hard question. The answer will be liberating.
👻 Sunday, Dec 14: Chasing Ghosts
Mars in Sagittarius square Neptune in Pisces. We end the week on a weird, slippery note. Mars (action) clashes with Neptune (dissolution). This is misdirected energy. You want to do something, but you don’t know what. You feel restless but exhausted. You might get scammed or tricked. Aka being alive in 2025.
This is the classic “I’m going to fix my life!” energy that turns into “I just watched 6 hours of conspiracy theories on YouTube.” (to be fair, that just sounds like my regular Sunday).
Mars in Sagittarius is trying to launch itself toward a huge, inspiring goal, but Neptune in Pisces acts like a sticky, smelly confusing swamp, dissolving the outlines of the plan.
You feel energized, but directionless. This is a time when boundaries are particularly porous, so be careful who you lend money to or what clickbait you believe. Instead of forcing action, channel this dreamy, restless energy creatively if you can muster the energy: write fiction, paint something abstract, listen to some new music. If you feel compelled to ‘escape’ (and who could blame you), choose healthy escapism over retail therapy or doomscrolling.
The Truth Serum: Rest. Seriously. Your actions today are likely to be based on a delusion. Do not sign contracts. Do not make promises. Go for a walk by some water, or just sleep. It’s fucking Sunday. You already made it through the week. Give yourself some fucking grace!
My daily guidance continues just below. I crafted a detailed personalized & actionable day-by-day plan for each zodiac sign based on how this manic week messes up (or blesses up?) with your rising sign’s astrological houses!
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