An Astrological Guide to Surviving the Birth Canal of the Virgo Solar Eclipse
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
The air this week tastes like ozone, burnt coffee & the bitter tang of a hangover you didn’t technically earn. It’s the hum of a server about to crash, the psychic pressure of a storm lurking at the edge of vision, a baptism by lightning queued up whether you RSVP’d or not. This will feel like waiting in line for hours, only to be told you brought the wrong form, like spotting your ex across the bar the one night you left the house without brushing your hair (uff, this actually gave me an instant anxiety - Leo Sun, Libra Rising, NIGHTMARE!), like your landlord finally fixing the heating right after you’ve adapted to sleeping in three hoodies.
By Sunday, we arrive at a Partial Solar Eclipse at 29° Virgo aka a final, fated cut where the scalpel is already in motion.
The week itself is a cosmic intervention, seven days of peeling illusions away with no anesthetic and zero small talk. We start with velvet charm that makes you think the ride might be smooth, then comes emo wringer, then a dead stop against a karmic wall. Just when you’re convinced the game is over WHAM a sideways blast of chaotic genius fries the circuits and forces a reboot.
By the weekend you’ll be sifting through the wreckage like someone who’s just realized their hard drive wasn’t backed up, deciding what’s worth salvaging before the eclipse slams the lid shut. Soz.
But know this. The suckiness is a global phenomenon, we’re all victims & it’s fucking unfair and it sucks, but we will be ok in the end. The pressure is intentional. The breakdown is the mechanism, the purge is the medicine.
What is flimsy will snap. What is rotting will not survive. What is true will be fire-hardened and undeniable.
There’s no sneaking back to the old script, no hiding under the duvet of “I’ll deal with it later.” The contractions have started, the future is already crowning, and the only way forward is bloody, messy, gasping, loud but alive.
A Day-by-Day Breakdown
🤝 Monday’s Diplomatic Scam: Venus in Leo sextile Mars in Libra
The week starts with fake glamour and free samples. Venus in Leo wants applause like she’s headlining Vegas, Mars in Libra is the smooth operator who settles bar fights by buying a round for everyone. Together, it’s effortless charm… think getting out of a parking ticket because you smiled (or flashed your boobs, no judgement), or convincing someone you’re Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-style “quirky” instead of unhinged and in a need of medical intervention. Everything flows. But let’s be clear: this is a cosmic foreplay. It’s the universe slipping you champagne before it slaps you with a subpoena.
🌊 Tuesday’s Emotional Ulcer: Moon in Cancer vs Mars in Libra
Yesterday’s schmooze? Gone. The Moon in Cancer yanks the security blanket off & suddenly you’re naked in front of relatives who don’t deserve to see your nipples. Mars in Libra wants polite debate, Cancer Moon wants blood for blood. This feels like biting your tongue so hard at family dinner that you taste iron, then later crying in the shower because no one defended you when Uncle Larry went feral.
But Moon also trine Saturn in Pisces & throws you a bone (maturity) & sextile Mercury in Virgo gives you words sharp enough to slice, but honestly? Sometimes “fuck you, I’m not coming next time” is the best prayer.
The truth: your feelings are not a TED Talk. Stop explaining. If your nervous system screams “NO,” that’s your answer.
🧱 Wednesday’s Wall: Mercury in Virgo opp Saturn in Pisces
This is the big “absolutely fucking not” from the universe. Mercury in Virgo shows up with her infamous receipts & color-coded tabs, only for Saturn in Pisces to just says “lol cute, but no.”
It’s like working 3 months on a project only to have your boss kill it with zero reason, or trying to Excel-sheet your way out of an existential crisis (I’ve done that before). The harder you push, the harder the wall pushes back today. Contractions are here and it’s too late for the Epidural.
The truth: you can’t logic your way through an existential bleed-out. Sit in the void. Something stranger, holier & way less “rational” is trying to download.
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Pssst, I have two soothing meditations for days like this. Check out the one I crafted specifically for the volatile corridor in-between eclipses:
Kuba Vitek-Girard
And my most popular super-grounding meditation for finding center in the wildness of astrological storms:
Kuba Vitek-Girard
⚡️ Thursday’s Brain on Acid: Mercury in Libra vs Neptune in Aries + Uranus in Gemini
Mercury waltzes into Libra wanting civil discourse and pretty metaphors, only to get immediately jumped. Opposition to Neptune in Aries fogs everything into a chaotic fever dream: lies, illusions, “did I just sext my boss or dream it?” vibes. Even BBC News believe the conspiracies today.
But trine to Uranus in Gemini drops lightning bolts of genius out of nowhere, so between the hallucinations you’ll stumble across a solution that makes yesterday’s brick wall look like a joke.
This feels like getting hopelessly lost on the way to a dentist appointment and accidentally discovering the idea that changes your entire career. Messy, but gold. Now, go fix that molar.
Today, your brain is a busted radio full of static, alien transmissions, but one brilliant frequency. Keep sifting through the noise. Record it. Run it through some audio filters. Keep searching.
🗂️ Friday’s Virgo Overdose: Venus + Moon in Virgo
After all that, the cleanup crew barges in. Venus and the Moon enter Virgo turning the vibe into a hyper-organized Pinterest board. Suddenly pleasure is quantifiable, love is not a Leo-demand for audience, but a service to others, sex is alphabetizing your spice rack.
But as per usual with Virgo overload, acts of service = hot, perfectionism = buzzkill.
This feels like “I love you” becoming “I noticed your mug shelf was misaligned, so I fixed it.” Sweet… until it’s suffocating.
Today try and refine, don’t purge. If you edit everything and everyone until it’s flawless, you’ll be left with an empty draft folder instead of a life.
🍵 Saturday’s Weighted Blanket: Moon in Virgo sextile Jupiter in Cancer
Finally, a sip of grace. Moon in Virgo sextiles Jupiter in Cancer = the comfort of soup after chaos, the satisfaction of folding laundry then collapsing into it. It’s the reminder that meal-prepping, cleaning or grocery budgeting is a love in disguise.
This is the universe handing you tea and a weighted blanket. Take the nap. Stockpile this softness. You’ll need it.
💥 Sunday’s Exorcism: Partial Solar Eclipse at 29° Virgo
Here’s the apocalypse. A solar eclipse at the final, desperate degree of Virgo = a cosmic audit that will not be ignored. A cosmic surgeon with the scalpel saying: “It’s rotten, we cut it out or you die.” Work, health, routines, perfectionism… if it’s broken, it’s gone.
Globally? Expect labor, healthcare, environmental scandals. Personally? Quitting the job, dumping the perfection-obsessed partner, or possibly in the best case scenario: firing your inner critic. DO IT!
This feels like getting laid off, crying & then realizing it was the only way you’d ever leave that soul-sucking corporate gulag. Or like finally tossing the bathroom scale and feeling 20 pounds lighter in your brain. The eclipses are not for planting seeds, I hope we’ve all already got that memo. Instead, ready yourself for a necessary exorcism. Virgo’s last lesson: precision saves lives, but so does knowing when to stop cutting.
The DO’s & DON’Ts (of Not Losing Your Goddamn Mind)
- 🤝The Velvet Glove Monday: Don't mistake charm for substance, but do use the good vibes to make one difficult request.
- 🌊 Emo Soup Tuesday: Don't let someone "fair-splain" your feelings to you. Do defend your emotional sanctuary like it's the last punk club in the city.
- 🧱 Walled-In Wednesday: Don't try to reason with a tidal wave. Do accept the "no." Acknowledge the wall. Stop banging your head against it.
- ⚡️ Manic Thursday: Don't hit "send" on the 3 AM manifesto. Do write down every insane but brilliant, out-of-the-box, contradictory idea. Sort it out later.
- 🗂️ Clean-Up Friday: Don't let your inner critic drive the bus. Do find one small, tangible thing to fix. Clean your keyboard. Water a plant.
- 🍵 Self-Care Saturday: Don't ignore the quiet feeling of "okay-ness."Do one thing that is both practical and deeply comforting.
- 💥 Eclipse Sunday: Don't hesitate. Don't look back. Do make the final cut. Quit the job. End the habit. Release the pattern.
I crafted a detailed personalized & actionable day-by-day plan for each zodiac sign based on how this last eclipse week messes up (or blesses up?) with your rising sign’s astrological houses.
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The real feast is waiting just beyond the velvet rope for my lovely subscribers, aka the absolute legends who’ve treated me to a coffee.
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